Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize