Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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