The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
