i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
