Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
