I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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