Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
