I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
