I bet he comes in French.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize