Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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