is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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