just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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