Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize