You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
