Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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