No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
