@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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