I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My ATM looks so different sober.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
