Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
