we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
