i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just high enough for therapy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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