College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
