So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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