and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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