How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
