This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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