The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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