Me too!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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