I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
vagina is talking i cant
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
