Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
