i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
