just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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