what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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