its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
