The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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