all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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