I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
