I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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