8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
