Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
