You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Fuck appropriateness.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
