worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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