I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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