take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
