he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
