Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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