talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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