their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize