he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
