But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
