I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
