So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
