Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
