You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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