So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize