i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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