vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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