Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Vodka?
Forever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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