Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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