apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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