Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
