love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
