:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize