why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
