my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
